The Shadow Effect

Posted on May 24, 2010 by Bengt

During the weekend I have read The Shadow Effect – Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford and Marianne Williamson. It’s a very interesting book and I recommend it.

The shadow exists within all of us. It is a part of us and yet we spend most of our life running from it. But far from being scary, our dark side holds the promise of a better, more fulfilling life. Our shadow makes itself known every day. It is the reason we get furious over a friend showing up ten minutes late, yell at our parents or kids when they have done nothing wrong, and sabotage our own success at the worst possible time. Until we are able to embrace our dualistic nature, we will continue to hurt ourselves and those closest to us and fall short of our potential.

Combining the wisdom of three experts, The Shadow Effect is a practical and profound guide to discovering the gifts of our shadow.

I saw the book at The Power of Slow, ordered it and then read it as soon as I got it.

The Shadow Effect has an official site. I like the text on the front page, it hits home with me:

Make peace with yourself, others and the world.

Find the courage to let go of all that holds you back.

Reconnect with the life you were meant to live and the person you were meant to be.

The book made me realize that I do kick myself too much. Instead I should focus more on the good things in life, self-love and self-respect is key to progress.

Marianne Williamson is the author of Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate which goes well with this book.

This quote by Mary Anne Radmacher will help me stay in (or bounce back into) the light:

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”

LESS – Accomplishing More by Doing Less

Posted on November 16, 2009 by Bengt

I got a copy of LESS – Accomplishing More by Doing Less by Marc Lesser at Øredev 2009. The book is described like this:

Discusses the benefits of doing less in a world that has increasingly embraced more – more desire, more activity, more things, more exhaustion. This book is about stopping, as well as the possibility of finding composure in the midst of activity. It is also about the power of accomplishing more by doing less.

I like this book, it is well written and it’s summed up nicely in the epilogue:

This book is a collection of tools as well as a manual for doing more of what is important and less of what isn’t.

Another quote from the book that descibes what it’s about:

You will accomplish more of what matters to you. Doing less and accomplishing more is about aligning your actions with your values and your particular passions.

The book is about the Less Manifesto and has chapters on its five categories:
• fear
• assumptions
• distractions
• resistance
• busyness

I like the way Marc writes about these categories, I found inspiration and tools to work with. Marc brings up meditation and mindfulness as useful tools. The book also has some interesting exercises, questions to work with. Under busyness Marc writes that:

A life of busyness is often the result of trying to escape facing our fears.

One part of the book that stuck with me is about paradoxes, like Marc’s own example “I am shy and solitary, and I love speaking in front of people.” It’s an interesting way of seeing that it’s not either-or, we can be both without conflicts.

Embrace paradox and you increase self-acceptance, tolerance of others and your own possibilities.

A question from the book that’s worth thinking about:

What is one change you could make in your life today that would have an impact on the quality of your day?

Presentation Zen is a great book

Posted on October 24, 2009 by Bengt

I have read Presentation Zen: Simple Ideas on Presentation Design and Delivery by Garr Reynolds. It’s a beautiful book in itself and terrific when it comes to its topic. The book gives lots of examples, it is inspriring and very well written. Presentation Zen is the kind of book one returns to for reference as well as for new ideas.

I have made some notes while reading the book, things that stuck this time.

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. Leonardo da Vinci

Communication is about getting others to understand why you are excited. Communication is the transfer of emotion.

Make slides that reinforce your words, not repeat them.

What’s your point? Why does it matter?
If the audience remember only one thing, what should it be?

Simplicity is the essence of clear communication.

Bring everything back to the core message.

You have to believe in your message completely or no one else will.

Garr Reynolds has a blog with the same name, Presentation Zen, that I suggest you subscribe to.

Marion Chapsal recommended this book to me. We talked about books around presentations and she wrote If I could recommend only one this would be THE ONE! I am glad I followed her advice since I really love this book.

Get Presentation Zen at The Book Depository.

How to develop self confidence and influence people by public speaking

Posted on October 17, 2009 by Bengt

I have read How to develop self confidence and influence people by public speaking by Dale Carnegie. Here are some of my notes based on the book.

The book has this reassuring quote by Cicero:

All public speaking of real merit is characterized by nervousness.

Dale Carnegie gives this advice: See yourself as a messenger, the message is important. In other words, content is important.

Preparation
Preparation means assembling your thoughts, your ideas, your convictions, your urges. Preparation means selecting, polishing, working them into a pattern, a mosaic of your own. A speech is a voyage with a purpose and it must be chartered.

Outlines
The book lists some types of outlines.
1. State your facts
2. Argue from them
3. Appeal for action

1. Here is a situation that ought to be remedied
2. We ought to do so and so about the matter.
3. You ought to help for these reasons.

1. Secure interested attention.
2. Win confidence.
3. State your facts, educate people regarding the merits of your proposition.
4. Appeal to the motives that make men act.

How to open a talk
The book lists these alternatives:
• Arouse curiosity
• Begin with a story
• Begin with an illustration
• Use an exhibit
• Ask a question
• Open with a quotation
• Tie your topic up to the vital interests of your audience

How to close a talk
The book lists these alternatives:
• Summarize, restate, outline briefly the main points covered
• Appeal for action
• A terse sincere compliment
• A humorous close
• A poetical qouotation
• The climax

This book overlaps in parts with Dale Carnegie’s The quick and easy way to effective speaking. I prefer that one.

The quick and easy way to effective speaking

Posted on October 7, 2009 by Bengt

I have read The quick and easy way to effective speaking by Dale Carnegie. The book is outdated in examples, copyright is in 1962. Still, there are useful tips about public speaking in the book. Here are some of my notes based on the book.

Every talk has one of four major goals. Pick the one that suits you, the audience and the occasion.
1. To persuade or get action.
2. To inform.
3. To impress and convince.
4. To entertain.

Notes about preparation and delivery.
• Only the prepared speaker deserves to be confident.
• Be sure you are excited about your subject.
• Be eager to share your talk with your listeners.
• The listeners shall feel that what you say is important to them.
• Talk in terms of your listeners’ interests.

Ask yourself how knowledge of your subject will help your audience solve their problems and achieve their goals. In other words, “What’s in it for them?” Then proceed to show them that, and you will have their full attention.

If the purpose of your talk is to inform then make the talk easy to listen to and easy to remember.

If your aim is to convince, remember that it is more effective to stir emotions than to arouse thoughts. Feelings are more powerful than cold ideas.

The book mentions the classic recipe for a talk: First tell them what you are going to tell them; then tell them; then tell them what you told them.

If you ever get to introduce a speaker, follow the T-I-S formula:
+ T stands for topic (of the speech).
+ I stands for importance, connect topic and audience.
+ S stands for speaker, introduce him/her.

The Tao of Coaching

Posted on September 22, 2009 by Bengt

The Tao of Coaching by Max Landsberg is an excellent book about coaching as a leader. The tagline on the book says Boost your effectiveness at work by inspiring and developing those around you which sums up coaching from the leaders perspective.

The books is described like this:

This book offers information on how to unlock the potential of people by applying the techniques of coaching. Coaching is the key to realising the potential of your employees, your organisation and yourself.

This book provides the techniques and tools of coaching that are vital for those who want to develop a team of people who will perform effectively and who will relish working with them.

The techniques and tools of coaching are integrated in the story about Alex and his career as manager. That makes it easier since you see them used in context.

The book lists these reasons why a manager shall use coaching:
• Create more time for yourself
• Achieve better results
• Build your interpersonal skills

If you want a great introduction to coaching as a leader, and a book you later can use as manual, I suggest that you buy The Tao of Coaching.

Your Best Year Yet

Posted on December 21, 2008 by Bengt

This review is about Your Best Year Yet – The 10 questions that will change your life forever, written by Jinny Ditzler. I came across this book since it should be the topic for a breakfast seminar at CoachCompanion. The book felt right and I ordered the book at once, before being at the seminar.

I like this book a lot, it is well written and has a clear concept. The book is in three parts, first an introduction, then a part with a chapter for each of the ten questions and finally a workshop with forms for each of the ten questions. It says ‘three hours to change your life’, that is what the workshop part will take you.

You can go straight to working with the ten questions but I found it very useful to read part one and two before that. In part two with chapters per question you will get an understanding of why these questions, why in this order and what will you gain in the process. There are also examples for each question that helps you get started.

The strongest motivation for doing Best Year Yet is that you find the way to live your life so it shows what really matters to you – so you are true to yourself.

These are the ten questions, you start with looking back on your past year and then start working on the coming year:
1. What did I accomplish?
2. What were my biggest disappointments?
3. What did I learn?
4. How do I limit myself, and how can I stop?
5. What are my personal values?
6. What roles do I play in my life?
7. Which role is my major focus for the next year?
8. What are my goals for each role?
9. What are my top ten goals for the next year?
10. How can I make sure I achieve them?

Question four is about how we limit ourselves and how to stop that.

Our limiting beliefs about ourselves become like brick walls in front of us, keeping us from even thinking about how to make the big changes or set the big goals.

Question five is about personal values, that chapter has an interesting part about life pursuits. Which one is yours?
I What can I do to prove myself? To be good enough?
II What can I do with the gifts I have?

Question six is about our roles in life. Jinny points out the importance of taking care of ourselves:

You must take care of yourself so you can take care of others and carry out your responsibilities.

In question eight about goals, Jinny connects back to values from question five:

Value-driven goals lead to behaviour and performance which are true expressions of who we are.

Summary
I highly recommend this book if you want a toolbox that helps you improve your life. Learn from the past and more about yourself, all in order to make the next year your best year yet.

Read more:
Best Year Yet, FREE Online Workshop
Your Best Year Yet! – the introduction
Best Year Yet – website
Know Yourself Change Yourself, a great book about beliefs and values.

This was originally posted at Forty Plus Two, another blog of mine.

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