Category: Discover Your Self

Reflect to see

Jenn Shallvey, @JennShallvey posts her Reflect comments at @reflect2see. It’s a great collection of thoughts and things to reflect on. Here are some of them, go check the Twitter profile for more. And while you’re there, follow it so you get the new ones.

Reflect: What pushes your buttons? Ever wonder why?

Reflect: Building a tribe is not about building your ego. If you can’t separate the two then you have false followers.

Reflect: Changing the outside appearance of what is on offer does not change the source. Always go to the source and be true.

Reflect: What you really truly desire in your life will come to you, but not necessarily in the way you think. Pay attention.

Reflect: On what terms are your relationships with others? Conditional or unconditional? Free or at a price?

Reflect: The places you go may be the same but you change each time you go there.

Reflect: How do you get in your own way?

Reflect: How many times do you need a life lesson before you get it?

Reflect: Many wise and wonderful souls may help you on your journey but ultimately the choice to heal is yours.

Reflect: What matters most in your life right now? How much attention and time go to this priority?

The last one goes nicely with the following two quotes that I have in front of me.

What’s the No. 1 thing you KNOW you should be doing that you’re not currently doing? Plant the seeds. Now.

Is the way you’re living your life today a foundation for the future you hope to build?

Jenn runs Reflect 2 See which is reclections with photos, very nice.

Three Words Become Five

Chris Brogan has his 3 Words for 2010, with a second level on some of them. Jonathan Fields lists his 10 driving keywords for 2010 in Oh The Places You Will Go.

I list my three key words in Ready for 2010:
Trust means to trust my inner voice, to build trust and to be trustworthy.
Connect goes outwards (connect to more people in real life and virtually, be visible and valuable) as well as inwards (connect to my inner self).
Grow covers to grow my business and to grow as person. It includes to learn and share. I am a life long learner, sharing knowledge and ideas is fun.

Joanna Young has a different approach and picks A Word to Last the Year. Her single word is rhythm and I really like that choice. Some of what rhythm brings to Joanna’s mind are things I like to do too: Walk, Write, Go outside, Go gently, Go with the flow, Trust in the natural cycle of things, Move between different projects I’m working on.

Juliana Finch at write. play. repeat. posts her choice in If you could choose one word…, it’s nourish. I like that too, nourish goes well with my three words above and with what I want to achieve.

I’ve been thinking about how to deal with my words for 2010, shall I stick with my original three or shall I add rhytm and nourish which gives me a full hand? In the end I decided to go for five, to me they integrate very well with my first three words and help me stay on track.

Adding nourish and rhythm actually helped me decide about leaving Inside the Third Tribe. Staying would have helped me grow my blog faster but I risked loosing my rhythm.

What Impact Do You Want To Have?

I am reading “The Tao of Motivation” by Max Landsberg, a great book that makes you think. (See also The Tao of Coaching, another great book by Max Landsberg.) The motivation book made me think about what motivates me and how to keep myself motivated. As selfemployed you need to be able to keep your own fire burning.

Then I came across A Question of Impact by Jonathan Fields. It raises these important questions:

What impact do you want to have? And, on whom?

Making an impact,as in making a difference, is something that motivates me. Seeing things change or ideas spread is motivating for me.

Jonathan Fields writes that:

I’m not yet convinced there is a single, quantifiable group of people I want or need to choose between. But, I’m also not convinced I can have the depth of impact I want when I’m playing too many games at once.

I think there is a risk of spreading oneself too thin (trying to cover too many) and because of that reducing the impact one makes. But I also see another risk, making your focus too narrow and missing out on chances to make an impact. At present I am balancing somewhere in between, I see the horizon of opportunity as 360 degrees and will see what turns up.

A Bigger Game?
In A Bigger Game Jonathan Fields also brings up the topic of making an impact:

It made me want to play a bigger game. Not a bigger money game…a bigger impact game. A bigger footprint game. A bigger life game.

I’m not that into ‘bigger’, I’m more into sustainable games, making impacts that last. My thought is that small scale works too, good changes create ripple effects. Talking about sustainable, I like The Seven Generations Perspective since it makes us consider long term conseqeunces and effects.

Three Key Words.
In Ready for 2010 I mention my three key words (Trust, Connect, Grow). These key words work well in connection with me making an impact. I have to be trusted in order to be able to make an impact. I need to connect with people in order to be able to make an impact. I need to grow (including learn and share) in order to be able to make an impact.

What’s My Own Answers?
My overarching vision is to help make this world a better place. That’s done on different levels, on a one-to-one level through my work as coach and mentor. On a global level it’s done through supporting organizations such as The Hunger Project and WWF. For the more ‘medium’ level I intend to write more. I would also like to make more presentations, both writing and speeches are ways to influence more people.

And You?
What’s YOUR answers to these questions?

What impact do you want to have? And, on whom?

Happy Holidays 2009

Whichever holidays you celebrate, I wish you Happy Holidays!

It’s the time of the year when we look back at the year that was and look forward at what’s coming. I’ll evaluate the work I did in My Best Year Yet 2009 to see what worked and what did not work.

A milestone for me during 2009 was my presentation at Øredev 2009. It was not in my plans but it’s a major achivement for me.

I will keep my three key words (trust, connect and grow) since I feel that they still are important to me and where I want to go.

Update December 28, 2009.
Dave Navarro at Rock Your Day posts about What No One Will Tell You About The New Year:

New Year’s Day is around the corner, and everyone is talking about goals, plans and resolutions. Everyone is all cheery and optimistic and chatty about how great the new year is going to be, and while that’s all well and good, it’s all very dangerous.

Dangerous to your true goals, your true ambitions … because the new year doesn’t mean anything at all. You’re still carrying the same you from this year into next year. You’re still carrying the same habits and hangups that held you back over the last 12 months into the next twelve months.

Living Naked (eBook)

Dayne Herren over at TheHappySelf.com has released a free eBook titled Living Naked: Personal Transformation Through Bare Simplicity.

“Living Naked” is a philosophy of living that strips down living to reveal our natural state of happiness. It is about “getting naked” or simply, back to the basics of BEING. The aim of this philosophy is invigorate your life, your senses, and most of all…your GENUINE and NATURAL HAPPINESS. Living naked is living naturally mentally and physically to unleash your inner joy and happiness.

It’s a nicely formated 40-page eBook that gives good advice on simplifying life. The book has eleven short chapters covering topics such as:
• Strip away life-added toxicity.
• Bring forth clarity to the mind.
• Listen to your internal navigation. Feel. Follow its lead.
• Inject your personal passions.
• Succeed at failing.
• Live happy and be content.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

The text above is from from the book A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. It is often incorrectly attributed to Nelson Mandela and his inauguration speech.

If so inclined you can check at Nelson Mandela’s own website: Deepest fear quote not Mr Mandela’s.

LESS – Accomplishing More by Doing Less

I got a copy of LESS – Accomplishing More by Doing Less by Marc Lesser at Øredev 2009. The book is described like this:

Discusses the benefits of doing less in a world that has increasingly embraced more – more desire, more activity, more things, more exhaustion. This book is about stopping, as well as the possibility of finding composure in the midst of activity. It is also about the power of accomplishing more by doing less.

I like this book, it is well written and it’s summed up nicely in the epilogue:

This book is a collection of tools as well as a manual for doing more of what is important and less of what isn’t.

Another quote from the book that descibes what it’s about:

You will accomplish more of what matters to you. Doing less and accomplishing more is about aligning your actions with your values and your particular passions.

The book is about the Less Manifesto and has chapters on its five categories:
• fear
• assumptions
• distractions
• resistance
• busyness

I like the way Marc writes about these categories, I found inspiration and tools to work with. Marc brings up meditation and mindfulness as useful tools. The book also has some interesting exercises, questions to work with. Under busyness Marc writes that:

A life of busyness is often the result of trying to escape facing our fears.

One part of the book that stuck with me is about paradoxes, like Marc’s own example “I am shy and solitary, and I love speaking in front of people.” It’s an interesting way of seeing that it’s not either-or, we can be both without conflicts.

Embrace paradox and you increase self-acceptance, tolerance of others and your own possibilities.

A question from the book that’s worth thinking about:

What is one change you could make in your life today that would have an impact on the quality of your day?

Read more:
An 18 Minute Plan That Keeps You Focused
The jar of life – stones, pebbles and sand
Start Managing Your Attention

Marc Lesser at Øredev 2009

On November 2nd I attended a full day tutorial with Marc Lesser at Øredev 2009. The tutorial had the title Accomplishing More By Doing Less and the program was this:

Marc will present tools and practices for integrating mindfulness practice and emotional intelligence as a way to develop leadership ability, create more meaning in our lives, and allow for greater ease and satisfaction. This is an experiential workshop that will draw from spiritual practices (meditation, mindfulness, compassion), leadership practices (listening, innovation, focus) and creative expression (movement and writing).

I really enjoyed the tutorial, it was a great mix of old and new with exercises in the mix. There were two exercises that stand out to me, they are useful in different ways and in different contexts.

One exercise was journaling in three steps with these starting sentences:
+ What matters most to me is…
+ What gets in the way of doing what matters most to me is…
+ What supports me to do what matters most to me is…
It shall be journaling without too much thinking, write what comes up.

The other exercise was ‘the blame game’. It was describing a situation from different perspectives, first as if everything was all their fault and then as if it was all your fault. In reality it’s often somewhere in between, that was much easier to see once you had described both sides.

Marc Lesser also opened the conference with the keynote address “Accomplishing more by doing less” on Wednesday the 4th of November.

Update
You can watch the keynote speech on Vimeo, Marc Lesser – Accomplishing More By Doing Less.

Read more:
LESS – Accomplishing More by Doing Less, a book by Marc Lesser